Why Naruto Would Wear Goggles
by DeamonisPanther
Summary: Young Naruto tries to kill himself, leaving Kakashi with a mission to figure out why. NonYaoi Sadfic.


A sadfic, but hopeful ending. Attempted suicide and mentions of death. Read while listening to some sort of sad song, such as "When I Die Young" on repeat.

Just find a good song on youtube, go to the URL and replace **tube** watch?v=TTeNdj39RAA with **repeat** watch?v=TTeNdj39RAA

Read and just let the feels flow.

Please review if it was good.

* * *

Naruto quietly watched from the swing as everyone left. The park closed after sunset, and each day they all took their parents hands and walked away. Each of them. They all left him behind. Everyday he would wait at the swings, just hoping that his parents would come. They would smile and apologize for being late. He was to old to be carried, but he might pretend to be too tired to walk every once in a while. They would one day come and being left behind would just be one sad dream. They would come. He knew it.

So he would wait. He would act mad for making him wait so long, and be like the kids who were too embarrassed to take their parent hand, but his parents would know and grab his hand anyway. They would walk to a wonderful house and have a great dinner. Naruto knew that his mom would make the best ramen. Then his parents would tell him a story and kiss him goodnight after tucking him into bed. Then he would say good night and dream the best dreams ever.

Naruto knew it.

They would come; one day.

So Naruto watched as everyone left him behind. The few times kids would play with him, their parents would be mad at him, so no one played with him any more. They didn't even sit by the swing next to him. They told him to go away when he asked to play a game.

Why?

Was it because no one picked him up at sun set? But that wasn't his fault! It wasn't his fault! He wanted someone to come and get him-he really did! But no one ever did.

He would wait and wait until a random ninja told him to beat it and go home. He hated that the most. He knew if he waited just a little longer, they would come. They would be worried if he left. He would argue with whoever it was and say he was waiting for someone. They would smirk and cruelly say, "Who?"

Then Naruto would say his parents. Then the ninja would grab his collar and yank him off the swing while saying that no one would ever come for a monster like him. Then the ninja would kick him out and disappear.

Leaving him. Like he wasn't even worth it to stay. That happened every time.

The sun was down and the moon was rising, but Naruto still waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.

Then he realized something. No one would ever come and get him. Never. He could wait forever and ever, but no parents would come. Everyone else left, so why should they come and get him, or even bother to wait? They wouldn't.

They were dead. Naruto never believed it. He always knew his parents were alive. But he was wrong. They were dead. Why didn't he listen to Jiji? He said they died a noble death, defending the village. That they loved him. It was a lie. If they really loved him they would be here! They would of survived! At least his mother should of! He was born the day of the Kyuubi attack, so his mother shouldn't of been fighting. She just left him because she didn't want him.

She left him, just like everyone else.

His dad might of just died, but he still left him behind. Maybe his mother was so sad about dad that she killed herself. Maybe she didn't want to leave because of him, but because she missed dad.

If everyone left him, why couldn't he leave and go to heaven? Then he could have a family and no one else would leave him. All of those people were always telling him to die, so why shouldn't he? He would leave then everyone here would be happy, 'cause he would be with his family and not get left at the park.

The last drops of sunlight faded and the street lights flickered on. Naruto was still on the swing. He finally saw the answer. He quit the crying he hadn't realized he started. He wiped away the tears and smiled happily. He would see his parents soon.

His parents couldn't come and get him from heaven, so they hadn't left him on purpose. He actually left them! He realized how selfish he had been. He could be with his parents forever if he tried. He was so happy. He would see them soon.

His parents probably tried really hard to be here but couldn't! But he could be with them forever now that he knew what to do!

Naruto started waiting for a random ninja to come by. He would just ask to borrow a kunai. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid before!

Naruto waited patiently. He had waited for years to see his parents, so he could wait another hour. So he waited with a smile on his face.

* * *

Kakashi watched the kid on the swings start crying for no reason. One moment he just looked sad and the next, his face twisted into horror. Kakashi was shocked. He had never seen the kid cry, not ever. Hokage-sama told him to take a brake from ANBU missions, but Kakashi asked for something anyway (Read: begged), so then he had been stuck "guarding" the kid for two months now.

This was a under the table mission, because the council would throw a fit if they found out the Hokage was helping the "Demon spawn". Kakashi knew the kid and pitied him, but from what he'd seen, he hadn't been abused. Some shops barred him entrance, and some people were rude to him, but over all he hadn't seen anything that would make the kid look like that.

The kid looked like his heart was torn out or his dreams burned to the ground. Kakashi was in shock even though his ANBU mask hid it. THe kid just sat on the swing, unblinking, with tears streaming down his face. Kakashi didn't know what to do. Should he go down and try to help the kid? He just looked so alone...

Kakashi was zeroed in on the kids expression. Hidden in a tree less than ten feet away, he had a front row seat to the event that was making his mouth go dry. _'A child shouldn't look like that,'_ he thought.

Suddenly the kids face transformed. His smile was to bright to match the tears on his cheeks... and... it was real. It wasn't a mask. The kid was really happy. What the hell happened? Kakashi watched in shock as the kid just wiped his tears away and kept smiling.

Kakashi kept thinking,_ 'It's not my problem. It's not my problem. It's not my- Oh fuck it!'_

* * *

Naruto had been waiting for ten minutes before a random ninja showed up. He wore a dog mask, and walked up slowly, before sitting down on the swing next to Naruto's. Naruto cocked his head to the side, but just smiled more. Someone was being nice to him.

This was a sign that he was on the right path, right?

The ninja didn't speak and Naruto wanted to learn his name before he went.

"Hi. What's your name?" He asked happily.

Kakashi paused before deciding to tell him his real name. "Kakashi."

"Ka-shi? That's a weird name. Mine's Naruto," he said proudly.

Kakashi didn't say anything.

"So are you going to kick me out?"

Kakashi shook his head.

Naruto smiled. "Thanks"

"Why do you sit here all the time?" Kakashi asked after a few moments of silence.

"Well, at first I was waiting for someone, but I just realized that they aren't going to come."

Kakashi nodded to show he was listening.

"And then I got really sad because I thought they would make it, but I realized I was being selfish. I always thought everything was about how they never showed up cause they didn't like me. I could go and see them if I tried. I didn't need them to come to me, because it would be really easy to go see them."

Kakashi couldn't figure out what to say. "The park is closed, so I do need to ask you to leave,"

Naruto's face fell a little.

",but I could walk you home."

Naruto smiled at the offer, but shook his head.

"It's okay, could I just borrow a kunai?"

Kakashi turned to look at him.

"Why?" He asked cautiously.

"There's this thing on my shorts that scratches my leg when I walk. I just want to cut it out," He lied.

Kakashi, for all of his ANBU training, didn't realize this. He didn't think a seven year old would try to kill himself.

"Okay, but don't cut your self," he said, handing Naruto one from his weapons pouch.

Naruto was kind of sad to leave behind new friend so soon, but he figured that Ka-shi would leave him behind any way. He might as well get it over with. He had spied on ninja before and he heard about this thing in your arm that, if you cut it, it kills you very quickly.

He quickly slashed deeply all the way up his arm. Blood sprayed violently. Naruto winced, but kept smiling. He moved to make another cut but, the weapon was knocked out his hand before he could.

Kakashi grabbed Naruto and was trying to stop the bleeding in his arms, when Naruto knocked his hands away. He smiled at him, but it was slightly sad.

"It was nice to meet you Ka-shi. Maybe I'll see ya. When I do, you can come have ramen with me and my parents."

Kakashi grabbed the bandages in his weapons pouch and tried wrapping the struggling Naruto's arm, but it wasn't working. He was bleeding to quickly.

Naruto reached up and pulled off Kakashi's ANBU mask, only to be greeted by his other face mask.

"Oh well. I guess I'll just have to find you based on this."

Kakashi wasn't paying attention anymore. The wound in his arm was showered in a violent red glow, and slowly the jagged cut started closing over.

Naruto's eyes widened. "NO! STOP IT!" He yelled desperately. His family... why? Why couldn't he see them?! Why was God being so mean? He just wanted to be with them.

The scratch that should of killed him was almost gone, but Kakashi had to restrain Naruto as he tried to tear it open again.

"NO! LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET-"

Kakashi hated to do this, but it was for Naruto's own good. He pinched the pressure point on the back of his neck and Naruto fell limp. Kakashi picked him up and rushed to the Hokage tower.

He needed to report this immediately.

* * *

Naruto awoke slowly and smiled. His parents should walk through the door and wake him up for breakfast. He remembered it all going black, so he died and would finally see his parents.

So he waited... And waited... Did they want to meet him at the breakfast table?

Finally Naruto felt like he should get up himself, but he found he could barely move.

_No! I can see them! I just need to try!_

Naruto struggled and fought against the feeling of swimming through syrup, and finally was able to sit up. He looked around the room, noting that it was not his own.

It didn't match what he thought his parents room would look like. The walls, carpet, bed, and comforter were all varying shades of gray. Naruto thought his parents house would be full of bright warm oranges and yellows, and if not that, at least colorful. The room was also very tidy. Naruto hoped his mom wouldn't make him clean it too much.

Naruto strained again, trying to get even the slightest headway towards his goal. The covers felt like they weighed a hundred pounds, and his eyes felt so heavy. He just wanted to back to sleep, but he was so close! He just needed to roll out of bed, and he could see his parents!

The door in front of him opened, and standing before of him was someone who brought back all of his memories.

"Ka-shi?"

* * *

Kakashi slowly opened the door to his bedroom. His latest mission was one he was dreading.

_"Find out why."_

The words of Hokage-sams echoed in his head, and one word was spoken in the room.

One shocked, heart-broken word;

"Ka-shi?"

Kakashi winced. A small barely noticeable wince.

Obito's nickname for him was one he always hated... until Obito wasn't around to annoy him with it.

Naruto's eyes watered. Why? Why was life so cruel to this one child? What had he done wrong, besides being the most unlucky child in the world? Kakashi stepped out of the doorway and walked towards the bed. Naruto flinched.

Kakashi wasn't suited to this mission. He was to messed up himself to be of any help. He still couldn't forget even though it had been eight years ago. How he had failed his best friend in the worst way possible.

He walked down and sat on his bed, with his back to Naruto, his next failure in his life.

"Why?" he asked softly.

Naruto didn't say anything, but Kakashi could hear the hitch in his breathing.

Finally, Naruto asked, "Why not? No one but Jiji loves me here. And he'll die someday," he sniffled.

"Why dose everyone get to leave me behind? Why can't I be the one to leave? I would have a family, and friends, and a house. Why dose everyone tell me to die, but not let me! I tried so hard to see them, but I guess they don't want to see me either, because that light kept me from seeing them! I just wanted for no one else to leave me anymore!"

Kakashi couldn't turn around, but he heard Naruto break into tears.

"I left someone behind." Kakashi didn't know where the words came from, but they tumbled out of his mouth. The confessions he never would tell to anyone but a grave.

"I was a ninja during the war. My team was given a mission to destroy a bridge, a critical mission for Konoha. My father had a similar mission in the war before mine. His team mate was captured, and he made the wrong choice for a shinobi. He saved his team mate at the price of failing the mission."

Kakashi swallowed, before continuing.

"Everyone, even his team mates who he saved, were mad at him. So he killed himself and left me alone. When I became a ninja I was determined to follow the rules. I would be the perfect ninja. So when my team mate, Rin, was captured on my mission, I did what a shinobi should do; I left her behind and went to finish the mission."

Kakashi closed his eyes in regret.

"My other team mate insisted that we save her, but I didn't listen. I was to focused on rebuilding my family's honor to see how much I would lose. My team mate's name was Obito. He wore bright orange goggles and was one of the clumsiest ninja I ever met. He went to save Rin but before he did, he said something I will never forget. '_In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash._' I went on to complete the mission, but I soon realized my mistake."

Kakashi sighed sadly.

"I arrived just in time to save Obito from being killed, but I lost my left eye. I freed Rin as well. We fought together and I realized how important team work was. I made the promise that when we got back to Konoha, I would never forget my friends. When we were fighting, I was nearly killed, but Obito saved my life. He said, 'What are friends for?' and smiled that stupid smile of his."

"I was so happy that I finally had a friend. But then the Iwa nin combined a jutsu to trap us in a giant stone dome. We still won the battle. I completed my first technique, Chidori. Everything was perfect."

His eyes started stinging and he realized he was crying.

"And then we were talking when the dome started collapsing. Obito had dojutsu that he had activated when he saved my life, and it let him react quicker than I could. He pushed me and Rin out of the w-way."

His voice cracked but he continued.

"He was crushed under the rubble, but still alive."

He heard Naruto inhale quickly, but he didn't stop talking.

"He could still talk, and he said he was sorry about my eye. He told Rin who was a med nin to transplant his left eye into mine. He said it was his final gift. He told us to leave him because the dome was collapsing all around us. And we did."

Kakashi laid his head in his hands and choked out the rest of the story.

"We never found the body. He never had a proper grave, but I wish I had gone with him in the beginning, because none of that would have never happened."

He turned to look at Naruto, who was watching him with wide eyes.

"I visit the memorial stone everyday to say how sorry I am, but he isn't coming back. When I look at his name, I remember all the mistakes I've made... and I 've made so many."

Silence echoed around the room, and the pain bubbling beneath the surface could be seen, but not heard.

"He wouldn't want you to be sad."

Kakashi looked sadly at Naruto.

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."

...

"Did my parents heal me? Because they want me to live and be happy?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. He knew who his parents were. He knew Minato and Kushina loved him so much. It almost hurt to look at Naruto because he reminded him of so much of his sensei.

Kakashi closed his eyes, when he felt Naruto's arms around his chest. He was hugging him.

"We should be happy for them. You shouldn't be sad... and neither should I, ya know?"

Kakashi nodded.

"I'm going to have the life they would of wanted for me, and I'll be a ninja so no one else will ever have to be alone."

Naruto released Kakashi and looked at him, "And I'll make sure everyone around me will always smile."

Kakashi gave a small smile in return, even though it was hidden behind his mask.

He stood up and offered Naruto his hand. "Would you like me to walk you home?"

Naruto smiled. "Sure."

* * *

Naruto woke up that next morning, got dressed, and opened his door. Placed on the front porch was a pair of goggles.

_"My team mate's name was Obito. He wore bright orange goggles and was one of the clumsiest ninja I ever met."_

Naruto slowly reached for the goggles and picked them up. He put them on his head and grinned. Tomorrow he was going to sign up for he ninja academy.

He wondered if he would ever see Ka-shi again.


End file.
